just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
All I want is dick and wine.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
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