You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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