Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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