Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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