Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
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