you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
