you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
