Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
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