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she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
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