i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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