I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
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