u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
