if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
