So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
