apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
