Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
