just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
