I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
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