guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Randomize
