google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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