i'm signing you up for texting rehab
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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