those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
