is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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