actually, I'm a sock model
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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