she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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