I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
