theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
