Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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