So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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