Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
