Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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