Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
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