Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
