I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Will exercising make me less horny?
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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