i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
