That's when you crack a 10am beer
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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