I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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