If i come over, it means nothing
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
