I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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