Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
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