love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
