I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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