You're so nebulous sometimes
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
So much rum. So many feels.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
