My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
