So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
