He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
you win again, gameday.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Randomize
