would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
