Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
