I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Randomize
