Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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