FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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