I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
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