dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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