no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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