remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
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