The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
