I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Randomize
