is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
