walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Come share oat with me in your robe
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
