i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize
