but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Randomize
