I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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