Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
